Feb 22 2010
Jan 27 2010
Some Thoughts About My Dog
Courtesy of a mass email forward:
| My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her.
She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her. She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Shit, my dog is a Democrat! |
Jan 23 2010
What would your fine be?
Read the ‘offense’ and if you’ve done it, you owe that fine .
You don’t have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.
NOTE fines to be added once, not for how ever many times you have done it.
Smoked weed — $10
Did acid or pills — $5
Ever had sex at church — $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you — $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace/Facebook/Bebo etc — $25
Had sex for money — $100
Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican — $20
Vandalized something — $20
Had sex on your parents’ bed — $10
Beat up someone — $20
Been jumped — $10
Cross dressed — $10
Given money to stripper — $25
Been in love with a stripper — $20
Kissed someone who’s name you didn’t know — $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work — $15
Ever drive and drank — $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk — $50
Used toys while having sex — $30
Got drunk, passed out and don’t remember the night before — $20
Went skinny dipping — $5
Had sex in a pool — $20
Kissed someone of the same sex — $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex — $20
Cheated on your significant other — $10
Masturbated — $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend — $20
Done oral — $5
Got oral — $5
Done / got oral in a vehicle while it was moving — $25
Stole something — $10
Had sex with someone in jail — $25
Made a nasty home video or took pictures — $15
Had a threesome — $50
Had sex in public — $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex –$25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars– $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older — $20
Had sex with someone under the age accepted by rule of thumb (half your age plus 7) — $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time– $50
Said you love someone but didn’t mean it — $25
Went streaking — $5
Went streaking in broad daylight — $15
Been arrested — $5
Spent time in jail — $15
Pissed in the pool — $0.50
Played spin the bottle — $5
Done something you regret — $20
Had sex with your best friend — $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work — $25
Had anal sex — $80
Lied to your mate — $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good — $25
Tally it up and comment: “My Fine Is…”
