FierceUgly.com

Courtesy of a mass email forward.

Courtesy of a mass email forward.

City of Chicago
Fire Department
10 W. 35th St .
Chicago, Illinois

To whom it may concern,

I am writing this letter in reference to Joseph D. O’Hara, firefighter applicant, regarding my knowledge of his overall character. I was asked to submit this letter, by Joseph, as part of his job application procedure.

I am a retired Chicago Police Department Lieutenant, having been employed by the City of Chicago in excess of 31 years. I am also Joseph’s uncle and have had a close relationship with him since his infancy. I am happy Joseph has reached this stage of his application process but still have no idea why he wants to be a fucking fireman. I believe this has to be something inherent, in that my mother used to love going to fires after hearing the sounds of a siren. In fact, I believe my mother was an arsonist, starting fires just to see them extinguished.

Joseph has a number of qualities which, not only, would make him a good fireman, but a great one. Joseph is Irish. Joseph loves doing real stupid things and nothing is more stupid than running into a burning building when all sensible pricks are running out. Joseph loves to drink, as most firemen like to do. I personally know Raymond McInerney Sr., one of the main drunken firemen dancers featured in the infamous video from a number of years ago. Although Joseph is nowhere near the age of the firemen involved, he’d be able to drink as well as them and dance like a fucking jagoff, too. With the fire department’s work schedule being twenty-four hour shifts, it demands firemen sleep at the house to which they’re assigned. Joseph would excel at this. As a matter of fact, Joseph would be able to sleep from the time he reports for duty until his shift ends. Joseph currently sleeps on the job just to practice basic firefighter skills. Lastly, Joseph likes listening to rap music and, therefore, would have a strong bonding point with all the shine firemen who have been forced upon the city by the fucking federal courts.

The last two things I’d like to add, although he has not yet been hired, he’d some day make a great engineer. Joseph loves driving fast and, thus, would get the truck to a fire faster than a safer, saner driver. In closing, Joseph has a number of pictures of naked firemen on his bedroom wall including a “Rescue Me” poster in which Denis Leary is depicted masturbating in a firehouse shower. Joseph is a natural.

Sincerely,
James O’Hara
0A

Courtesy of a mass email forward.

Courtesy of a mass email forward

I am referring to the older gentleman

by the door!!!

But you knew that.

Courtesy of a mass email forward.

Courtesy of a mass email forward.

Courtesy of a mass email forward.

Probably not suitable for children.

Courtesy of a mass email forward.

Wow, the flying hotel and largest helicopter in the world! The Hotelicopter is modeled on the Soviet-made Mil V-12, of which there were only two prototypes ever made.

The Hotelicopter Company purchased one of these prototypes from the Mikhail Leontyevich Mil helicopter plant in Panki-Tomilino, Russia in 2004 and have been engineering the world’s first flying hotel ever since.

The Hotelicopter features 18 luxuriously-appointed rooms for those seeking a truly unique and memorable travel experience.

Each soundproofed room is equipped with a queen-sized bed, fine linens, a mini-bar, coffee machine, wireless internet access, and all the luxurious appointments you’d expect from a flying five star hotel. Room service is available one hour after liftoff and prior to landing.

The Hotelicopter is due to fly maiden journey this summer June 26th, 2009 with an undisclosed price.

Inaugural Summer Tour – 14 days (Friday, June 26th, 2009 – Friday, July 10th, 2009) California Tour – 14 days (Friday, July 17th, 2009 to Friday, July 24rd, 2009) Bay/Jamaica, European Tour – 16 days (Friday, July 31st, 2009 to Sunday, August 16th, 2009) Below are the pics.

Specs:
Dimensions Length: 42 m (137 ft)
Height: 28m (91 ft)
Maximum Takeoff Weight: 105850 kg (232,870 lb)
Maximum speed: 255 km/h (137 kt) (158 miles/h)
Cruising speed: 237 km/h (127 kt) (147 miles/h)
Original Mi Range: 515 km (320 mi)
Our augmented Mi Range – 1,296 km (700 mi)

These are courtesy of a mass email forward.